Asshole American or 10 Things I Hate About Australia

So, the other day on my way home from work, I tweeted:

I'm thinking I should devote the last year of 'notes down under' to all of the things I hate about Australia. #asshole #American.

Of course, this would feed into all of the stereotypes about Americans: never happy, complain constantly, and completely full of shit. They don't call us seppos for nothing. So, in the spirit of being an asshole, here's my top ten:

1. I hate that no one ever, and I mean ever, listens to anyone else. 
2. I hate the way Aussie men treat women, but the women seem to enjoy it (mostly), so why should I give a fuck?
3. I hate that you can't get a decent sandwich here. Seriously, they want to put butter on it instead of mayonnaise, and they go bonkers when you want more than one vegetable item. 
4. I hate when people bump into you and say 'sorry' when they don't mean it. They are really just trying to move you out of the way. Apparently, the phrase 'excuse me' doesn't exist here. Whenever I say 'excuse me' people jump out of there skins and look at me like I'm the one who has done something rude.
5. Don't get me started on women and their fucking hand bags.
6. The drivers are completely and utterly insane. 
7. I hate it when I meet people for the first time and they try to impress me with how much they know about American culture - trust me, there's more to it than what you've seen on Oprah and Dr Phil. 
8. I hate when Australians point out how racists Americans are. True, slavery will be a stain on the US for eternity, but check your own goddamn back yard, at least we are trying to work through it. 
9. I don't know why they bother having lids on toilets, the men never lift them. 
10. The PM is an atheist, but doesn't support same sex marriage because she believes in adhering to bible stories. Yea, no one I know understands that one either.