Trip to Killcare NSW

This past Saturday, we went north of Sydney to Killcare via Sydney Seaplanes. It was a going away gift from a friend. The views were spectacular and it was one of the most amazing things I have done since I've lived here. David took most of the photos below, but of course, I had to muck around with them a bit.

It Is Real

So, around 6:10AM this morning David came into the bedroom and tapped me on the shoulder with his iPhone extended towards my face. He said, "Read." I struggled, because the light was too bright. I took his device and held it at a length so that I could actually see the text. He seemed happy about something - did we get final word on a date for a move?!? Then, the words came into focus: OBAMA SUPPORTS SAME SEX MARRIAGE. The first words out of my mouth were, "Is this real?"

It wasn't long after we moved to Sydney in 2008 that Prop 8 passed in California (my rant, here). The punch in the gut that David and I experienced on that day was devastating and we quietly swore that we would never return to the United States to live. Over time, our anger and hatred towards many of our fellow countrymen subsided (well, at least the hatred did) and we grew to understand (painfully, at times) that our home was in San Francisco and that we would be returning there at the end of our visas in 2012.

I've spent the better part of the morning trying to understand what I'm feeling. I've read all of my favorite pundits and have sifted through the banter on various websites - some of it earnest and some of it nasty. Poetically, today's announcement by the President brings my expat experience full circle. People will spin this thing into every direction possible, but I know deep down in my heart that the country I'm going back to is a little better than the one I left 4 years ago. It is real. 

Winter Approaches

Winter approaches and I realize that I'm going to be able to skip it again for an entire year, a luxury. Our timeline for returning should be finalized by the end of this week (though I've been saying this for 4 weeks now!) and chances are likely that we will be back in San Francisco by no later than the second week in June. When we moved to Australia in the last week of August in 2008, I had no concept of what living without winter for an entire year would be like - and by living without winter I don't mean cold weather, but day light hours. When we first arrived, there wasn't a huge difference between the hours in a day between Sydney and San Francisco - we were coming out of the end of summer and going into the end of winter. It was quite a magical experience to have waning days turn into waxing ones in the blink of an eye. My mind played tricks on me the entire first year and I could never really grasp what season we were actually in. After going through a few cycles, I'm now used to it, however there are months that I still get a little confused on the season, April/May and September/October being those times because of the equilibrium of day light hours between autumn and spring. This is compounded by the fact that most of the people I know live somewhere in the Northern Hemisphere and are constantly posting on Facebook during late spring or autumn, "Summer is around the corner!" or "Ugh, winter is upon us." It is easy to forget where I am and go with what I know, rather, have known. The difference this time around is that all of my friends' clamor back home about summer being around the corner is true.

The Meaning of Home

With the move back to San Francisco on the horizon, this bit from an article on the meaning of home by Verlyn Klinkenborg struck a chord:

Not that you can’t feel “at home” in other places. But there’s a big psychological difference between feeling at home and being home. Feeling at home on the Tiwi Islands or in Bangalore or Vancouver (if you are not native) is simply a way of saying that the not-home-ness of those places has diminished since you first arrived. Some people, as they move through their lives, rediscover home again and again. Some people never find another after once leaving home. And, of course, some people never leave the one home they’ve always known. In America, we don’t know quite what to say about those people.

I've written about this before, but I recall the first time we went back to San Francisco after moving to Sydney and being terrified that it was no longer going to feel like (or be) home. This was because of the first time I went back to Kentucky and Tennessee after living in Washington for two years (and only briefly for a couple of months in California) it seemed so incredibly alien to me. It made me realize that that region was never home and it was never going to be. I was afraid that my living here was going to produce a similar response when I visited all of our usual hangouts back there and that it was going to feel completely foreign. But that is not what happened at all. From the moment we stepped off of the plane, it felt like a really nice pair of jeans. Our arrival experience was made complete by getting into a huge argument with the taxi driver on the way to the hotel, because he had taken the wrong route. Anyone who has ever had the pleasure of riding in a taxi with me and David will certainly appreciate why this was the icing on the cake for us - we knew we were home.

Best. Proposal. Video. Ever.

Total Aussie Awesomeness: Deb 'Spoons' Perry

Sooner Than We Thought

So, it looks as though we might be home sooner than we thought, possibly by the end of May. I've created a handy-dandy spreadsheet, so I can check off 'to do' items for the move. Ugh. The. Move. In retrospect, I  wish we hadn't shipped any of our items here. Not that we brought a lot, but it's enough stuff to be a pain in the ass in getting it back. I must admit that I'm feeling a bit disconnected at the moment. My body is going through the motions, but my mind is observing from somewhere else and it's making me anxious. Obliviously vulnerable (chuckling as I write that) is the best phrase I can use to describe what I'm feeling. David and I are getting ready to embark on an incredible journey to a faraway and exotic place, but the irony is that place we are going to is home.  And I realize how excited I am about returning there.

US Customs and Gay Families

Good news - today Homeland Security announced that gay families will soon be able to go through customs together when entering the United States. David and I have had our fair share of awkward moments with border guards when returning home, with one experience in particular that almost escalated into something very nasty. This is great news, and long overdue!

via ThinkProgress

5 More Months

An Aussie Wedding

Last Friday, our friends Jo and Marty got married at Maroubra Beach—our first Aussie wedding! It was a beautiful ceremony and the weather was absolutely amazing. It was a perfect day. Hopefully, some of that perfection was captured in these photos.